And I Thought I Was Maximum
by Aguilita Cruz
Summary: This is set immediately after FANG. Yeah, pretend ANGEL didn't happen. Max flies to her mom for comfort, but what she really got was... well, unexpected. Read and freakin'review, peoples!Rated T for minor cussing. Or major cussing. It depends on my mood.
1. Hey, Cousin!

**The actual title should look like this: ****And **_**I**_** Thought **_**I**_** Was Maximum**

**Finally! A Maximum Ride fanfic. I feel so… tingly. …..TMI? Ok, well, let's…um…start…..**

_Her body was hanging there, limp. She looked so fragile, like one of Angel's dolls. Then the AC kicked in, and it made her body sway left, right, left, right. _  
><em>''It's ok, Max,'' he said, then: ''Let's go home.'' I nodded, but looked at her one last time. How could she have left me like this?<em>

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Sorry, let's get to the stuff that lead to this, shall we? Better.

_UGH! IhatehimIhatehimIhatehim! That bastard! GOD, I hate him so much! _

Those were my thoughts as I flew over to my mom's house. Yes, I am running (_flying_!) to mommy. Haha. Funny. Fang dumped me, so I had to run to the only person that can truly help me….. _my mom_. Believe me, Nudge would only make matters worse, and I seriously did NOT want to talk to Angel right now.

Hello? My first (and only) boyfriend totally ditched me! And _worse_, he left his darned laptop! The least he could have done is to leave no trace of him, so I wouldn't suffer as much. But _noooo_. He mocks me without having to actually be there!

I landed in my mom's front yard, promising myself I would not cry and show weakness. But just the thought of her holding me made the waterworks burst. Oh, god, I am so glad you couldn't see me. Snot and tears. Yuck.

I busted through the door, and screamed "Mom!"

"Max? I'm in the living room," she said. It sounded like she was crying. Not a good sound. I wiped my face, clearing all proof I had been crying, and crept into the living room.

There was my mom, and she was being attacked! The attacker was a girl, maybe my age, or maybe she was that tall, with brown hair. That's all I can tell you, because I immediately hurled myself at the attacker. _You picked the wrong mom to mess with!_

I kicked into MAX-KICK-ASS mode, but the girl let go of my mom and and screamed "THIS IS SPARTA, BIYATCH!"

If you think it's not embarassing getting kicked in the face by a girl that just screamed _This is Sparta_, you better hace another think comin'. I tasted her boot, and I swear I tasted old hot dog. I fell straight on my back, and she jumped, aiming to jam her elbow on my stomach. She would have, and it would've hurt _like hell_, but I rolled over. She jammed her elbow onto the floor, and I bet it hurt even though it was carpet. She howled something in Spanish, then muttered something that sounded like "Holy Mother of Hades!"

I was still on the floor, and I spun on my back and kicked her square in the…. Well, between the legs. If she had been a guy, that would've been absolute pain. Instead, she made a weird gurgling sound. She fell onto the ground, coughing, for some reason. I don't know. No time to dwell on that. I sat on top of her and punched her twice in the nose, and I heard a satisfying crunch.

Then I began to choke her. Now, if maybe I had a knife of some kind….

In this position, I got a better look at her. She looked like a mix between Mexican/Afghani. I could be wrong. Her left eye was hazel, and her right eye was brown, but the hazel eye looked way too small to be hers. She also had gray hair sticking out the right side of her hair, which was impossible. She looked no more than two years older than me! Then I was begging to see the light leave her eyes, like they did in Max II's eyes. Then, my own mother pulled me off the chick! Has she gotten _Stockholm Syndrome_ or something?

"Get off of her, Max! Get off right now!" Ouch. She was yelling. Not exactly the reception I thought I would get from _saving her life_. More along the lines of _Kick her butt, Max! Thank you, sweetie, would you like a cookie for saving my life?_ But I got none of that.

As soon as I was off, the girl got up, slowly, and then fell back down. She tried a second time, supporting herself with the couch. I gave her my trademark _That's-what-you-get-for-assaulting-my-mother_ look. She wiped sweat from her forehead, then she wiped blood from under her nose.

My mom ignored her, looking at me angrily. "Why did you do that? I don't want bloodshed in my house."

"B-b-but, she…attacked you?"

"Attacked me? Max, you jump to conclusions so easily!"

"Then why are you crying?" I asked.

"She was helping me put on a necklace that I haven't seen since I was a little girl!" Oh, I saw it.

"Mom, who is this chick?"

"Mom? _Tia Valencia, esta es tu hija_?" the girl said.

Oh my god. I've been around my mom and Ella long enough to know the meaning of what she said. She said, in Spanish, "_Aunt Valencia, this is your daughter_?"

_Aunt_ Valencia?

"Yes, Itsi," my mom said.

Despite everything, I laughed.

"Itsi, like as in _The Itsi Bitsy Spider_? _That's_ your name?"

She looked pissed. "Yeah, and your name is what? _Maximum Ride_?"

I bit my lip. Unfair. Wait, how exactly does she know my name?

"I'm Itsi Cruz," she said with no accent. "And you kicked me hard in the crotch." She sorta looked at me like we were all _buddy-buddy_.

"Max, this is Itsi Cruz, the daughter of my sister, Maria. Your cousin, my niece," my mom said.

"'Sup, cuz?" Itsi said.

Oh, ok….._what?_

**What'd you think? Was it good, bad, or downright terrible? **_**Tell me**_**! I will make sure Iggy finds you and will blow up your house. J/K. Still, I'd appreciate reviews.**


	2. Cookies, Postcards, and Evil Incarnate

_2 months later….._

It's poisoned. As soon as I took a bite, I knew it. I tried to spit it out, but I had already swallowed. My body wouldn't respond. My eyes watered, and I was shaking all over. I grabbed my throat, but it didn't help.

"Die, dammit. _Die_!" Itsi said.

Okay, so I'm overreacting. This cookie isn't poisoned. My body finally responded, and I spit out/threw up the cookie. Then I started coughing violently. I stuck my tongue out and went _auuugghhhhh._

Itsi looked up from her PSP. Her eyes widened, and she took out her earphones, _Gorillaz_ blaring in the not-so-silence. She helped me up and smacked my back so the rest of the cookie would come out. They came out in unpleasant-looking chunks.

"It was _that_ _bad_, huh?" She asked, then slammed her PSP on the counter. "I swear, great cooking runs in the family, but skipped _our_ generation!"

When I finally recovered fully from Itsi's defective cookie, I stood up and nodded.

She grabbed the tray with all the other cookies and threw them into the trashcan, then kicked the trashcan. She shook her fists at it, and then a bracelet slipped down. I squinted, and I saw thick white lines running across her wrists. Oh, my god, is this chick suicidal?

That's the second time I've seen something like this! Yesterday, Itsi was bleeding like a maniac. I ran into the room and she said she smashed her IPod Nano with her head because it was defective. She should have gotten brain damage or something, but this morning it only looked like a razor attacked her. I never saw the Nano, but there were wires all over the floor, so….

When she saw me looking, she quickly put the bracelet back where it was before. She took a long time to say something. Then:

"I should have practiced over there in Afghanistan with my grandma. She makes awesome cookies!"

Okay, so it's a touchy subject. I cleared that moment from my mind (at least for now.)

Anyways, I remembered all those postcards that Itsi sent me while she was gone to for a month and a half to visit her grandparents on her dad's side. The _Wish you were here, only not really!_ postcard had really cracked Dylan up. It showed her with her mouth opened like she was talking, with her thumb pointing behind at the mosque in Mecca.

I had allowed Itsi into _the birdhouse_ once she received the green light from Angel.

"Anyways, you said you were going to show me your roof?" she asked.

I nodded. I thought it was time to tell Itsi about my wings.

I took her there, and she sighed. She looked at the sunset, wonder in her eyes.

I coughed. "So," she said, "it's pretty and all, but is this it?"

I shook my head. "I've got something to show you," I said. I took a HUGE breath.

Then, _fwap! _My wings popped out. Itsi jumped, only forward. Thank god she's flat-chested, or she would have knocked me off the roof. She shook her head, and grabbed me by my shoulders.

"Holy Allah the Merciful! Max, I have something to show you too!"

Then, she literally ripped her shirt off, leaving her with her tank-top undershirt. Is it wrong that I thought dirty for a second or two? Then, _fwap!_ Big, brown wings with golden steaks popped from her back. Now it was my turn to jump, only backwards. _She's a bird kid, too? _I thought.

For 10 minutes, all we could do was stare at each other. I realized something. I had _totally_ miscalculated her age. I had guessed she was about 16 or 17, but now I can see that's not right. I had guessed according to her height. Bird kids are usually taller than normal kids. Plus, the eyeliner must make her look older, too. With that into perspective, Itsi must be about 14. _I so failed!_

A knock broke the silence.

I looked at Itsi, giving her the _We'll_-_continue-this-astonishing-moment-later _look_._

I ran downstairs, and threw the door open. Yay! My most least favorite person in the whole entire world! Jeb!

"Hello, Max. How are you doing?" he asked.

"Fine. What do you want?" I asked hurriedly.

"I just wanted to-"

"Hey, Max, who is it? Iggy? Nudge?" Itsi said from upsatirs, coming down.

She stepped up next to me, smiling her trademark _I'm just another little girl so don't mind me _smile. She could tell I didn't like this guy, and she tried not to show it.

"Hiya! I'm Itsi. Who're you?"

Jeb just stared at her.

"Hmm," she said. "I said, Hiya! I'm Itsi!"

Finally, he spoke.

"Itsi? As in, Cruz? You-y….." he stuttered.

I thought it was rude that he stared at her like that. Then again, I can't say anything. I always stare at people like that.

He stared at her like she had a coke-snorting problem, like she was telling me to have sex at an early age, like she was FBI's most wanted, like he was my father and Itsi was bad company. In other words, he looked at her like she was evil incarnate.


	3. Jeb Reveals Dramatic News

"_I'll have to talk to you later, Max. I see you are busy doing something."_

Those are the words Jeb had told me once he was done staring at Itsi. She asked if I was ok after he left, and I nodded. But I wondered what he has to say about her. After that, we left to a mountain range whose name will remain anonymous. I hope you don't mind.

"OF COURSE I hate Justin Beiber! Anyone that has _hair_ that's worth more than me can go fuck a duck."

"Haha, his hair is not worth more than you, Itsi!"

"I know. I'm awesome."

"So what's your story?" I asked. "Is there some _inner turmoil_ you wish to share?" Not that I really cared, just…..

"Turmoil? What the heck's a turmoil?" Itsi said.

"….Seriously? You don't know what turmoil is?"

"Shut up," she said, then sighed. "So, my story….I don't have one. The school killed my parents, so I escaped, found my granny in Afghanistan, found Tia Valencia here, and BOOM! Here I am!"

There was a long pause.

"Sorry that I'm being so blunt, Max. Really, I am."

I looked down at my shoes. "Don't worry," I said, looking up and smiling. "I'm just like that."

She smiled. "Seems to me like you and I are undoubtedly related. We're so much alike."

"Not really. I am obviously much _smarter_ than you, Miss 'What's Turmoil?'"

She jumped up. "Hey, I may not be so smart, but I can still kick your butt in 4 seconds flat."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. That's not what I recall from our first fight." I said, looking at her from the corner of my eyes and grinning.

"Oh, please, I only didn't kill you because I knew you were only fighting me because you thought your mother was in danger! I would have put my shoe through you if it hadn't been for that! So HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Momentary silence followed that laughter. Maybe it was time for a change of subject…

"So, since you were created at the school, what are some of your specialties?" I asked her.

"Specialties like as in…breaking things?" she asked. I laughed.

"No, like….special abilities, you butt-head!" I rammed my fist into her head.

"Ow! Oh, special abilities. Well, what're yours?" she asked.

"Oh, well…." Then, I blushed, thinking of my abilities. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…..that's it.

"I can fly, heal quickly, fly at super-sonic speed, I guess I'm super-strong, super-fast, and can breathe at high altitudes. And breathe underwater. Now that I've told you, you tell me." Yes, I know I left out something, but no need to mention a voice in my head!

"Let's see. Hm, obviously, the flying I can do-" she started.

"-and your crotch healed _pretty quick_-" I added.

"-and I can breathe at high altitudes."

Pause.

"And? That's it? Seriously, girl?" I asked. "No way that's all you got."

"Well, I can do Fridgitsu. But it has some drawbacks."

I stopped. What the hell is Fridgitsu?

I was GOING to ask, but then- boom! A _GI-HUGIC _robot landed close to me. Itsi screamed, and pulled me to safety. By my nose. Super strength. Super strength has GOT to be one of her abilities.

"M-Geeks!" I screamed, when Itsi screamed, "Robo-Dorks!"

Despite the situation, we stopped and grinned at each other. _Then_ sprung into action. Once she let go of my nose, of course.

She kicked one of the M-Geeks in the stomach, and he went HUFF! Itsi cringed and waved her hand across her face.

"Hey, what's this little shorty doin', fightin' big bad monsters like us?" One asked one of it's buddies, talking about Itsi. Her face turned red, like blood. C'mon, she's not that short.

"Shorty? Shorty? Well, maybe it's a good thing I'm short." Then she tought about it. "Gah! No it's not!" Then she went wild and kicked that M-Geek square in the head.

"I just happen to live in a country where there's a bunch of tall people! Maybe you're the freaks!" She went into super-frenzy mode, kicking some geeks.

We went back to back, me with my awesome fighting skills, and Itsi, with rage on her side. But very soon I realized it's easy to fight these guys with 5 people behind you. Not so much with a girl that's only really angry because of some stature comment.

Itsi sighed, probably coming to the same conclusion as me. "You were going to ask what Fridgitsu was, Max? Well, here it is!"

My vertically challenged cousin(bird-kid wise) stepped up and took a breath. She put her fists together. She smiled. Then, she screamed, "FRIDGITSUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

The air got colder. Like, really cold. Then, Itsi shot a gigantic chunk of ice, and it rammed into 3 M-Geeks.

"Ha ha! That, my dear losers, is what Fridgitsu is all about! Hell yea!" She shouted.

She ran past me with a holier-than-thou look on her face. You know, one that makes me want to throw her down the Hoover Dam with her wings tied?

Then, Itsi screamed, "Here's one I haven't been able to mention yet, Max! EXUROJUTSUUUUUUUU!"

Please tell me you know what exuro means, because I don't. Well, I had an idea when 8-foot flames shot out of her left hand. Those M-Geeks ran like hell! Run, geek, run!

"Don't mess with a Cruz, fool!" Then, she began to yell _other_ things, like **(This Fanfic cannot display what Itsi says after that. Sorry for the inconvenience.)**

Well, no need to say things after that. Obviously, me being _Maximum Ride_, I kicked those M-Geeks into the next decade!

The things is, one of us came out with battle scars. One of us as in Miss Cruz. Apparently, she's not Fridgitsu/Exurojutsu-proof. She had a second-degree burn on her left hand, and frost bite on her right hand. How sad. The girl cried like as if I broke her eyeliner pencil in half.

We got to my mom's house after awhile, and while my mom got ice cold water for Itsi's left hand and 105° water for her right hand, I got stuck in the living room with Jeb.

"Maybe it's time we had that talk I promised you, Maximum," said Jeb.

"Ok, but if it's about where babies come from, sorry, Itsi already gave me that talk," I said. It's true. I swear, if I ever see those sock puppets again, I'll cram them down her throat and hopes she chokes on them.

"Max, this is no time for jokes. This is about your cousin, Inés," he said.

"Itsi, Jeb. Her name's Itsi."

"Anyway, I need to tell you something about her. And I warn you, you may not be so fond of her when we are done with this conversation."

"Then don't talk to me." Honestly! Jeb is so annoying! I mean, jeez! Why did I ever look up to this guy?

Jeb sighed. He had that _I-am-_not_-giving-up-on-this-conversation _look.

"Max…"

"Jeb…"

_Ahhh, family fun time!_

"Max! Let me-"

"Just- just…. Shut up, Jeb! OK?" I said. "You are really annoying me!"

"MAX! Itsi was made in the school to destroy you!"

I stopped like death. Then: "Oh, please, Jeb. Could you say anything more clichéd?" I turned like I didn't care, but on the inside, I thought, _please, tell me my life is all just some suckish TV drama, and that soon it'll be over_. _Please, please, please._

**Finally! Now, since this was mostly fluff to get to Jeb already (aka, it was a bunch of crapola), I'll be easy on you. Be sure to add **_**in your review**_** your ALL TIME FAVORITE SONG! Mine? Why, thanks for asking! "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz!**


	4. How To Lose A Cousin Quickly

**All right, I received reviews (like2, and one was dumb), so I'll cut you slack. Here's the next installment of the "AND **_**I**_** THOUGHT **_**I**_** WAS MAXIMUM" series! Yay! Celebration! J/K, go celebrate by yourselves. Unless strawberry smoothies are in the equation. Then, I'm in! Oh, and if you like Kingdom Hearts, check out Riks Valentine's stories. That girl is a story genius!**

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY SPEAK OF A TOUCHY SUBJECT!

"Jeez, Max, no! Just because Jeb said that, doesn't mean it's true," Itsi said.

"I know, but I just had to make sure! Itsi, you don't know how many times I've been betrayed by someone I trusted. I couldn't believe that I thought you really were against me, but… I had to make sure."

NO! You did NOT accidentally tune in to a soap opera! This is seriously going on! I spent a whole day deciding how I should bring this up. This is all I could come up with in 24 hours: "Jeb told me that you were created to kill me. Are you here to do it?" Gasp. Long ago, I had sworn to myself not to say such sappy things, yet here we are. And I had caught her just when she was doing one of her 5-times-daily-prayers, facing the Mecca. So I waited 'til she was done. I was in a hurry, but not so much as interrupting and being rude!

"I know! You're still suffering because that emo dude abandoned you at the frickin' altar-"

"HE DID NOT ABANDON ME AT ANY ALTAR!"

"- so you get paranoid. It's cool."

"NO! That's not it." Ugh, why does she try to be funny at times like this?

"Well, then, Max. Your relationship would have never lasted. You have trust issues."

"Yes, I have trust issues! I already told you, I've faced many betrayals during my life!"

"Oh, Max. You're so dramatic. Fang would never love you if you're like that! You're such a love wannabe!" Then, she muttered, "No wonder he left you."

Ah! _That bitch! _Have now released…. _The Monster Max!_

"Wannabe? You're the wannabe here! A suicide wannabe!" She froze. Froze, like death. She had stabbed me in the heart, but I wasn't gushing blood. I was just gushing horrible words.

I grabbed her wrists, the ones I mentioned earlier in this story. "This! This isn't how you kill yourself!" I pretended to cut across her wrist with my fingernail.

"Max, let me _go,_" Itsi said scary calmly. But I didn't shut my mouth.

"_That_ is just a cry for attention! Everybody knows that! Cutting across only gets you to the hospital!" Then, as I said these final words, I leaned closer to her. "_Maybe you should try harder next time._"

After that was a terrible silence. Itsi looked away.

Then, she said, "Go to hell."

Not loudly, no hate, no spite in those words. Just…..pure sadness. She turned and headed towards the door. She opened it quietly, but once she stepped out, she paused and then slammed the door really hard.

This was overwhelming. Too dramatic. It seemed like one of those painfully horrible reality TV shows, like Jersey Shore, when one of the girls pisses off the other. Only the next morning, they make up. Honestly, I saw none of that in the near future.

That's when Déjà Vu knocked at my door. I flew to my mom's house again, like the first time with the whole Fang incident. This time, though, no tears. I landed, and ran inside. I caught my mom in the kitchen with Ella, and I ran into my mom.

Mom asked Ella to leave the room quietly, and she did. Then she asked what was wrong.

"Itsi… she hates me! I said the worst thing possible to her!"

"Don't be silly, Max. Itsi loves you very much," said my mom, quietly into my ear.

"No, mom, it's the opposite! She HATES me!"

My mom pulled me off, and looked at me. Like, _really_ looked at me. "Oh, Max. The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. If someone hates you, they still have feelings for you. If they really didn't care about you, they'd just forget about you. They wouldn't waste time hating you."

My heart almost stopped. _Go to hell._ She had told me that with no hate. Does… that mean… she's indifferent? Not even wasting her time hating me?

I fell into worse despair. _Then was completely interrupted _by a slam of the front door and a voice.

"Aunt Valencia? Are you here?"

Man, I stopped paying attention at _Aunt! _It was definitely Itsi's voice! Maybe huskier (from crying?) but definitely her voice.

I spun around, and was _so confused._ I was Itsi, only… not. Brown hair, but shorter. Much shorter. Styled into a Mohawk. A raised eyebrow, but both were too thick to be hers. Brown eyes, but no eyeliner surrounding them. A crooked frown, only HAIR SURROUNDING IT! (Wait, that's normal.)

WHAT? HAS ITSI GOTTEN A SEX CHANGE?

"Hey, um, is Valencia Martinez here? Does she even live here?"

I didn't answer. I just stared.

"Er, well, I'm Isaias. Isaias Cruz. I'm looking for-"

"CRUZ? Who are you?" I asked, even though clearly, he just told me his name. I really do need to get my IQ checked.

He looked at me. Then he smiled and said, "OH! You must be Max! My sister has told me all about you! You know, Itsi?" He outstretched his hand.

"Any friend of my sister is a friend of mine, I guess. My friends call me Isa, for short. I'm Itsi's twin." I remained silent.

…..More and more like a soap opera is my life becoming. Twins. Who knew?

"Now," Isa said, "I need your help. Oh! Tia Valencia, there you are!"

He helped my mother up from her chair.

"Itsi's in trouble," he said. "I'm probably gonna need Max to accompany me." He looked at me like _Would you like to?_

I thought about it. For, like, one millisecond.

"Yeah. Now, what's the problem?"

"Itsi went to California to look for a guy," Isa started. "His name is Fang."

My heart stopped.

"She said finding him would make someone very happy, less pissy, but once she found him, The School found them somehow and captured them."

I straightened up, and he smiled. "I take it you know who the School is too."

"Let's go," I said hurriedly. If Fang is there, I have to help, and quickly. Who knows what they're doing to him?

"How? Plane tickets cost-"

I pulled out my wings in a haste , and his eyes widened.

"Oooookay. Let's go get provisions, and split," he said.

**Yes! I've been waiting MILLIONS OF YEARS to type this up! This chapter was inspired by "The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Gothgirl" by Barry Lyga. With your awesome review, please include your favorite Max Ride character. Don't worry, I won't judge! Here's mine: Iggy!**


	5. Mininjas Attack

**Hey guys! I had *dun-dun-dun* WRITERS BLOCK. Didn't even know what it was 'till I got it. Well, it was writer's block and the recent discovery that I can actually draw the Maximum Ride people. Now all I need is a scanner to upload them to . Now, READ! And REVIEW! Reviewreviewreview! Make me WANT to continue this story. You can criticize me, constructively though, please.** *WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WILL HAVE LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS. THESE DO NOT COUNT.*

We were flying over California, looking for The School building where Fang and Itsi were being kept. Well, more like _I_ was flying. Isa was chillin' in my arms. I don't know how I managed to carry the guy all the way from Arizona to Cali for all this time. Adrenaline? Can adrenaline do that? I think it can. I believe its adrenaline because just the thought of seeing Fang again made my poor heart pound faster. After I save him (and I _will_) I'll tie him up and put him in my closet and never let him outta my sight! I could practically HEAR Daniel Tosh asking: "All right, Max. The world wants to know: Are you ready to give this another shot?"

HELL YES.

"Max, over there!" Isa whispered, so I looked down and saw him pointing to a building. This was it. This was where Fang and Itsi were being kept. As soon as we landed, I realized just how tired my arms were. They hurt like crazy! For a few minutes, I shook my arms until I could feel them again, silently being thankful Isa wasn't muscular or beefy. My arms would have been no more.

We walked up to the building with no prob, really. It's when we reached the double doors when the trouble began. Out of nowhere, a tiny ninja popped out! After a 1-second delay (because my heart almost stopped), I once again kicked into MAX-KICK-ASS mode. I shot a kick at the mini ninja (can we call it mininja?) but it dodged it like nothin'. So I did the next best thing, and jumped, bounced off a wall, and landed on its head. I celebrated victory! It's like these things can't look up or something! I turned to see if Isa was ok, and he was not. He was fighting 10 other mininjas!

He was fighting them with basic moves, so I guess he doesn't know how to fight. He was going to lose eventually, when he got tired. I ran towards the nearest mininja, planning to pull a Super Mario and stomp on it like a goomba, but quicker than my eye could see, it kicked up at my face before I could dodge it! It hurt, but confusion took over me because this was just some little dude, no taller than three feet! How can it kick so damn hard? I looked back to see if Isa was losing, and he was. He was in a pile of mininjas. I quickly dived into the pile, found his arm, and pulled him out. Then, we bailed. No time to fight them. We ran towards the double doors, but the darned things were locked. There was an 8-number password needed to open it. How many possibilities was that? A bajillion skadillion? I looked back, guessing we had a 30 second window to figure out the…pass number.

"Try 12345678," Isa said. It didn't work.

"87654321?" Nope.

"24681357?" Nuh-uh.

"13572468?" Nada.

"Ugh! Let me try!" Isa said, and took control. He tried birthdays, but the only one we knew was his. _That _is a sad thought. He looked at me, fear in his eyes, and I knew I had to do something. I closed my eyes, and had a flash memory. Once, when Jeb still took care of us, he taught us math, pi to be specific. I was a stubborn-headed donkey (you don't have to agree to that) and said I didn't want to learn it because it wasn't useful.

_It's important, Max. Pi can open many doors for you, _he said.

I knew it was a desperate attempt, but, hey, when you have a bunch of teeny killer ninjas only _feet_ from attacking you, with a long-lost cousin of yours, and a boyfriend and other long-lost cousin on the other side of these doors, how can you BLAME me?

I was about to enter the numbers, when I realized: _what numbers?_ What is pi again?

"Dude, what's pi?" I asked Isa quickly.

"P-pi?" He looked at me like, what drug are _you_ on?

"Quickly!" I screamed, and he began mumbling.

"4, no wait! Uh, 3…."

I turned to check how far the mininjas were. They were here. I had another desperate idea.

"Stop!" I yelled. Oh, yeah, they stopped. They were not expecting this. I shot Isa a look that said _keep-trying-to-input-numbers-because-i-jusy-got-an-idea-that-might-not-work. _He nodded, and began to guess out loud.

"3…11…0..? No."

I looked at the mininjas. I made my hand form a gun and hollered "EAT LEAD!" and made shooting sounds. I know, _what_ was I thinking?

"3…4536.."

I pretended to throw a bowling ball and screamed "STEEEERIKE!"

"314, um.."

After that, I started spewing random quotes, all the while trying to remember wtf pi was.

"TH-THAT WAS DANGEROUS, YOU JERK!" _31492622?_

"I have grown a _beard_, that's how serious I am." _31426619?_

One mininja took a step forward, but I stopped it yelling "OMG, BECKY, LOOK AT HER BUTT IT'S SO BIG!"

"31492156?" Isa asked. Maybe pi isn't the pass number?

"WOW! THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" I was running out of things to yell.

"Oh…31415…..31415…31415 SOMETHING!" he screamed out.

That's when it hit me.

"ISA! THREE ONE FOUR ONE FIVE NINE TWO SIX!" I counted on my fingers. 8 numbers, exactly.

"Max! It's open!"

"Finally!" I ran backwards, keeping my eyes on the mininjas, until I reached the inside.

Isa closed the door and relocked it. Then he turned and smiled warily. "We're in," he said, "Now let's find your boyfriend and my sister."

Yes, lets.

**Fang: The author is sorry for the long chapter.**

**Me: Yes, I am.**

**Fang: Anyway, quotes #1-3 were from Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa, the 4****th**** was from TTFN by Lauren Myracle, the 5****th**** was from…somewhere. A song?**

**Me: I have no idea.**

**Fang: And the last one was from a Staples commercial.**

**Me: I love Fullmetal Alchemist. Very awesome manga. I recommend it.**

**Fang: T-T Stop embarrassing youself. Bye!**


	6. Didn't Expect The Unexpected

**Just watched the movie "Super Size Me," and now… I can't even look at a Big Mac the same way…ANYWAY, sorry so much for the long-ass chapter, guys. But it was impossible to cut anything out. And so, hobey-ho, let's go.**

It all happened so fast.

We split up right away because we kept getting lost, and figured we could cover more ground that way. So Isa went one way, and me the other way.

After 5 minutes, I was immediately lost. And then, I heard a sound. Kind of like a groan. A… familiar groan. I ran towards the sound, and found myself in a large, cavernous room. Near a corner, I saw them. Fang and Itsi, strapped down on tables that were leaning at an angle so that they kind of were standing up, only not.

Fang groaned. I checked that no one other than them were there, and when I saw the coast was clear, I ran like hell over to them.

"Fang! Itsi!" I whispered once I neared them. Fang looked at me. Confused, like as if he didn't know who I was, but after a few seconds-

"Max!"

"Fang! Oh, Fang!" I cupped his chin, taking him in. He looked ok, maybe a few scratches, but other than that, he was exactly the way he had left me. _No,_ I thought. _No time to think about this._

Fang asked, "What are you doing here? Max, how did you find us?" I turned to Itsi and smiled. "I had a little help."

When I turned around to face her, she gasped. "Dang, Max! You look like crap!"

Nice.

"Thanks," I said. She smiled, then frowned again. "How'd you get here? _Who _helped you here? Fang? Oh, no, wait, he was here. Iggy?"

"Nope. Your brother, Isaias!" She frowned when I said that.

"My broth…. I don't have a brother," she said.

My heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, you do. Your twin brother! He told me that you two.." I stopped there. Why on earth would the school allow Itsi to tell Isa to tell me that she was captured? It didn't make sense, once I thought about it. He told me…

"Not now, Max. Tell us once we're loose," Fang ordered. I shook my head. Duh, that should have been the first thing I did. I released Fang, then Itsi. Fang jumped off the table and hugged me and kissed me, promising to never leave me again. As much as I wanted to kick his ass, I hugged and kissed him back. For now.

He motioned towards Itsi. "I feel like you two should have a talk."

She looked at me, waiting for me to apologize for what I had said in my room decades, no, _days_ ago. I opened my mouth to say something, but was interrupted by someone.

"This is adorable. The star-crossed lovers, finally joined again. Perfect soap opera drama, no?"

See? I wasn't the only one to think my life was too dramatic.

I turned to see who it was, and holy crap in a cup, it was Isa! Gone was the Isa I (thought I) knew. He stood straight, with an air of defiance.

"Now we have all we need, just the way I had planned it," he said as guards surrounded us from every angle. Fang and Itsi were ready to fight. Me? Remember, I am the _poster child_ for stress. You guess how I felt.

"I had it planned from the very beginning. I was created for this. Once Max escaped, Itsi was sent to go kill her. That plan failed when Itsi escaped, and I was given the job to bring the both of you back. It took years, yes, but it worked. Pretending to be Itsi's twin by taking advantage of our alike features was genius, even if I do say so myself."

Fang gave me a nod. It was time to fight. I jumped at the nearest guard, hit the next one in the Adam's apple, and I can't remember the rest. I was already in MAX-KICK-ASS mode to care. I thought we were winning 'till I saw the reinforcements arrive.

In no time, they overwhelmed us. My cousin yelled profanities that would have made my mom scrub her mouth with sandpaper.

Four guards caught me, holding my arms and legs, taking me to their leader, Isa. His brown eyed twinkled in amusement. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Jeb told the truth. There was a device implanted on top of Itsi's skull that, when turned on, she would automatically attack you. She was created to be your destructor if you ever turned rogue. But for some reason, it stopped working about a month ago."

My eye twitched. A month ago? When Itsi crushed that iPod with her head, nearly causing a-OH GOD. I finally figured out what the iPod had really been. So she had lied to me..hmm.

The realization made my resolve to survive stronger, and I kicked a guard that was holding my leg in the nose, causing him to let me go. After that it was easy to make the others do the same. I grabbed the gun and pointed it at Isa.

"Why are you doing this, Isa?"

"Why, for world domination, of course."

"That's not even funny, man."

"Then how about revenge?"

"Just, shut up," I said.

"Max, I know you can't shoot a gun."

Oh, crap.

He smiled and sent guards after me again. I had to do something that would buy me time to think of some way to escape. Then, I had it. I _could_ shoot a gun at point blank.

So I aimed, and fired.

Right at Fang.

**Must I remind you to review? I read the stories of my reviewers!**


	7. Up To Our Necks In Trouble

**I dedicate this chapter to sarah(dot)twilightfan****1****, (the (dot) means there's a dot there) because someone should lock her in a cage, her stories are BEAST! Girl has **_**awesome**_** stories, yet such little reviews. Please join the Review Revolution. :D**

I shot Fang.

I had the reaction I wanted. Isa was absolutely stunned seeing the last thing he expected. So stunned, in fact, he kept staring at the space where I used to be even after I ran to look for Itsi. I couln't find her!

Isa regained his senses after, like, 5 seconds. He completely ignored Fang on the floor, sending soldiers after me. I tried to get away, but, man, those guys were fast! I almost got away, _almost_, but they managed to grab me. They ran towards a wall, and slammed my head against it, three times. I tried to pull away, but after the second slamming, my head spun too hard for me to do anything. I fell to the floor. Isa grabbed me by my hair and hauled me to my feet. "Join us, and this madness ends."

I stared at him. "No way, you piece of crap!"

He smiled, but in a way that made it seem like he was planning to carve his name into my brain once I was dead. Then he back-handed me so hard, it split my lip and made my nose bleed. He handed me back to the soldiers, who grabbed my neck and resumed slamming my head into a wall, maybe 10 times this time.

Then, some force pulled them away from me. I turned, trying to focus on my savior. Fang. He was clutching his bleeding arm. "I can't believe you shot me, you jerk!"

I gave him the bird, then blew a kiss at him. He smiled.

Fang drove soldiers down as I tried to focus my eyes as I searched for Itsi. There was no sign of her. Could she secretly have gone to the dark side? Gazzy _had_ complained that she stole his teeny tin flute. Don't bad guys always start out small?

Fang put his hand on my shoulder, shaking his head no, probably guessing where my train of thought was heading. Then he flung a soldier across the room. Oh, god, I love him.

I picked up a pipe and started whacking soldiers as we headed towards Isa. He was listening intently to a soldier whispering in his ear. Isa nodded, and the soldier went to do…whatever Isa nodded to. Isa turned to me, and frowned. "You're still alive?"

_It takes more than that to kill Maximum Ride._ "Isa, you should stop asking questions you already know the answers to. People will think you're stupid."

He gave me a look that actually scared the candy out of me.

Suddenly, he lashed out at me. Thankfully, Fang caught his hand midair. Despite the fact that he was injured, Fang still kicked butt.

I whacked the pipe onto Isa's arm, making him shriek in a way that I thought boys were incapable of. He cried and cradled his arm. Through tears, he said, "Why don't you just die, you goddamn stubborn mule? I just want you to die!"

"We all want things," I answered. "Angel wanted a pony when she was four. We all have to live with disappointment sometimes." I cracked the pipe over his head.

He fell to the floor, and coughed. "Th-then…. I hope….this…..disappoints….you…you…witch," he said, gasping. He pointed upwards, then he passed out.

I looked up where he pointed. It was a catwalk hanging from the ceiling. Then my heart lurched. Two soldiers were holding a blindfolded, struggling Itsi, as a third was tying a rope with a noose at the end to the railing. My eyes widened, then I quickly began looking for a ladder. _No no no no no. They were NOT going to do this._

Fang seemed to understand too, since he pointed out a service ladder. I climbed it like snakes were at my feet, but my haste made me miss a rung and fall aaaaaall the way back down, crashing onto Fang on the way.

They put the noose around Itsi's neck. She began struggling even more, snapping her jaws at anyone stupid enough to put limbs close to her face. She managed to bite one soldier.

My heart climbed up my throat as I watched the events unfold.

The soldier clutched his hurt hand, elbowing Itsi and pushing her towards a second soldier. That soldier pushed her hard against the railing. She seemed, for a second, like she was lying horizontal in the air, then she tipped towards the ground, thirty feet below. No way that rope was longer than ten feet.

I tried to close my eyes, I really did, but they refused. They stayed open until the rope ran out. _SNAP! _It was from a human neck.

I turned my head towards Fang and finally opened my eyes. His eyes told me everything.

Itsi was gone.

**Sooooo… how was it? **iSom,eHI


	8. The Voice Pipes Up

**The Penultimate Chapter. Has a nice ring to it, no? I dedicate this to **_**all **_**my author friends. Yes, including you, little brother.**

I didn't pay attention to Fang, who was trying to get my attention. I didn't pay attention to the soldiers, running to their leader. I didn't pay attention to my still-bleeding nose. I didn't even pay attention to the second time Fang yelled at me, screaming that the soldiers were dragging Isa away and escaping. I didn't pay attention to any of that. All my attention was on the girl hanging from the rope.

Her body was hanging there, limp. She looked so fragile, like one of Angel's dolls.Then the AC kicked in, and it made her body sway left, right, left, right.

She can't have just died like this. She should have died saying something witty. She should have died without that blindfold on, so I could see her mix-matched brown and hazel eyes on last time. She should have smiled courageously, silently telling me to continue on and not worry about her.

No. This isn't a movie, where the hero get's to say one last thing. Where the bad guy says, "Any last words?" No. This is real life, where nothing ever goes right. _Especially_ in my life. It's like a class of oh-you-think-you-know-what-it's-like-to-hurt-well-try-this. Life is a bitch, and she's always on her period.

''It's ok, Max,'' Fang said, then: ''Let's go home.'' He put his hand around my shoulder. I nodded, but looked at her one last time. How could she leave me like this?

She had been maximum to the end. Jeez, and I thought I was maximum. I don't even deserve this name.

We returned to my mom's house much later. They celebrated our return with Mexican food. But nobody mentioned the empty chair between Gazzy and I. Everybody thought it. But no one dared say it aloud.

After the celebration, I sat on the couch by myself. Jeb arrived, and sat to my right. I didn't want this man next to me. Not after all the crap that his words had started. This was all his fault.

He turned to me. "She wasn't going to last forever, Max. Especially under the conditions you went through these past few days. She was defective.

I turned to him with unbelieving eyes. I shot up, and with as much force as I could, slapped him. It rang all around the house.

Jeb's lip started bleeding. I don't know why, it just did. And I was glad. He just looked at me like nothing ever happened.

I'm proud to say I didn't start bawling my eyes out until I landed on my bed.

I hated it that I was crying. I hated it that I was being so weak. I hated the realization that I'd lost a dear friend. If Itsi were here, she'd be like, "Dear Allah, stop being such a baby!"

But she's not. She's….wherever dead people go. I hope there's Final Fantasy where she's headed. She'd like that.

I heard a knock at my door. I quickly cleared my face of any emotion. I'm getting really good at that recently.

I didn't even look at his face, yet I knew it was Fang. He slowly came into my room and sat next to me on my bed. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at his face. And gasped.

He had tears running freely down his face. He must have gotten to know Itsi during the time they were captured together. I realized I wasn't the only one really grieving.

I held out my arms, and we hugged and kissed until I wasn't crying anymore. We went outside to watch the stars, when I hear The Voice.

_She is not dead, Max._ Oh, sure, now it piped up.

_Shut up, _I thought. _I know, she'll live in my heart forever, yada yada. Just shut up._

_But she is not dead, Maximum, _The Voice repeated.

_I SAID SHUT UP. YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING._

The Voice shut up.

**That was the end of the Penultimate Chapter! Tune in for the Grand Finale!**


	9. A New Friend

**The Final Chapter is for you, Cindy, because you got me into Maximum Ride in the first place! Keep working on that story of yours!**

My gut was reacting funny to this place. Or it could just be the Indian food I had earlier. But I'm pretty sure it was the building. It _reeked_ of The School. I had needed a place to sleep, and this was my only option except for that dumpster 2 miles away.

As I was searching around for a comfortable place to sleep, I heard a _SNAP_ above me, and something heavy fell on me.

As I fell to the ground, I did what any other sensible person would do in this situation: I took a big breath, and shrieked. I rolled out from under whatever fell on me, gasping, because screams like that aren't easy to pull off. I looked at what had landed on me. My heart lurched and skipped a beat.

It was a freaking girl! A snapped piece of rope was around her neck (the other piece still hanging from the catwalk above us). I turned her over with my shoe, yes, admittedly, kinda grossed out. When I saw her face, my heart fluttered a little. She looked like- like me! Well, like Max, but me being Max's clone, the girl _technically_ looked like me.

A teeny bit curious, I checked her pulse, and when I felt it, I was like _No freakin' way she could have survived that 30 foot fall without snapping her neck!_ I leaned a little bit closer to her, and she sounded like she was having trouble breathing. There was a lump on her throat. Is it normal for half-dead people to have a large lump in their throat?

Just in case you were wondering, fuck NO I was not about to perform mouth-to-mouth with a girl, much less a partly-dead one. So I pumped her chest as best as I could. Never let it be known that Maya (like my new name?) left a helpless girl, well, helpless.

I pumped her chest once more, harder this time, and something flew out of her mouth! It clinked when it hit the ground. When I picked it up, I noticed it was a small tin flute, that, yes, was covered in saliva. Etched onto one side of the flute was GAZZY. The gears in my head turned verrrrrrry slowly, trying to put 2 and 2 together. All I kept getting was 5.

The girl suddenly sat up and started coughing violently, her eyes bugging out in a nasty way whenever she did. Then, as quickly as it came, it stopped. She focused, and noticed me for the first time.

"Who are you?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse. I dropped the flute. "Who are you?" she asked, more…. intensely.

And stupid stupid me (which I swear I got from Max), I answered with, "Umm, I'm not your enemy." I sounded more like I asked that.

With an animalistic growl, she got up quicker than she should have been able to and hurled herself at me, putting her hands on my throat, for no reason, I swear.

Quickly, I kneed her in the stomach, knocking the breath out of her, and getting a nasty whiff of her breath. She let me go and clutched her stomach. I reached for a weapon- any weapon, because DAMN this girl is tougher than she looks. Of course, not tougher than me. Of course.

My fingers curled around a bloody pipe that was slightly bent. Ok, so admittedly, my pride was _already_ beat up and thrown in a dumpster for not reacting quicker. So a weapon kinda _killed_ what dignity I had left.

The girl got up and limp-ran (that's possible, right?) to me, but she was slow enough so that I was ready. I swung the pipe against her demented noggin, and knocker her aside. I dropped the pipe and ran to her, kicking her in the ribs with all my strength. Somehow, she was still conscious enough to swing her arm under my legs, making me fall on my butt hard.

As I was down, she got up and put a knee on my chest and started punching me repeatedly. This girl had definitely been trained before. My nose exploded with blood, and the psycho seemed to be enjoying it! What a little weirdo!

My hands were free, so I grabbed her by her hair with one hand, and grabbing her shirt with the other, and flipped her off me. I spent one precious second testing my nose, deciding it was absolutely broken.

She charged at me again but I brought my foot up, so she could taste nice, delicious Nikes. She fell on her back, and I jammed my elbow into her stomach. As I got up, she made weird gurgling sounds. Then, she spun on her back, kicking my feet from under me _again_. She climbed on me, which I noticed she did with great effort, and secured my arms under her legs, leaving me wholly defenseless. Then, she bagan to choke me. I began to have flashbacks, of when I was in this exact same position, with Max on top of me, choking me until I started losing my eyesight. Right now, my eyesight started to fade quickly, and that's when I began to lose hope. _Please, please, please don't do anything to my magenta streak, _I thought. Not much of a death wish, eh?

But one thing saved me from oblivion: my face.

She stopped choking me, but still held my throat. She leaned in close to me, and for one horrifying, shocking second, I thought she was going to sniff me- or _worse,_ KISS ME! I sucked in my lips and everything, to avoid dying fulfilling some guy's dream of girl-on-girl action. Hey, don't judge me, she was on top of me, I was defenseless, _and_ she was leaning into my face? Give me a break.

Instead, she beheld my face. Then something flashed in her eyes, something like recognition, and asked, "Max?"

W-what the hell? "No," I responded.

She shook her head and got off me, allowing me to breathe correctly.

"S-s-sorry," she said. "I- I don't even know why I asked that. Sorry. I don't even know who I am, what my name is—sorry, sorry, sorry," she rambled.

"I just attacked you 'cause, well, I don't know, you scared me," she said again.

_What the hell ever_, I thought. I was just happy to be alive. She paid me no mind, so I was just about to break for the door, escaping from this lunatic, but her sobs stopped me.

She was clawing her face in desperation, and I wondered if she was serious when she said she doesn't know who she is. Something, probably my heart, told me that I was here for her. That my guts had been reacting to her being here when I got to this place.

So I made a decision. Something that I hoped wasn't _another_ of my big-assed mistakes: I cleared my throat, getting her attention, and held my hand out.

"Join me?" I asked. Yep, this was going to be a mistake. I know it.

She hiccupped, sucking in snot. Seriously, ew.

But she took my hand and nodded. She smiled, it was barely there, but still there.

"The name's Maya," I said, not really expecting her to say anything, since she didn't know who she was.

I knew this girl had some kind of connection to Max, that much was obvious, and I was going to use this girl to get to her. Somehow.

And we walked out of the building.

**Soooo…how was it? Review, seriously. I'll get Maya on you.**


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